A Death Doula is a non-medical professional trained to provide emotional, physical, spiritual, and informational support to a patient and family before, during,and after death. Death Doulas are known around the world as: End of Life Doulas, Transition Guides, Death Coaches, and End of Life Guides.
Hospice workers spend on average only a few hours per week in a dying patient’s home. Family members are being thrown into caregiving roles for which they have no experience. Professional Death Doulas work as an adjunct support to traditional Hospice services to provide the best possible support to patients, families, and the medical care team throughout the entire end of life journey.Seventy five percent of those with terminal diagnoses would prefer to die at home rather than in a hospital or long term care center.
Doulagivers Institute, founded by Suzanee B. O’Brien, provides certification of professional Death Doulas. She offered a webinar this week that I found very informative. She explained the stages of death and how to make a loved one feel most comfortable, safe and supported during each phase. This makes the death experience a positive one and a guilt free memory for caregivers. Family, friends and church members can offer support during the dying process.
Phase one is called the “Shock Phase”.This is when someone receives a terminal diagnosis and is overwhelmed with the feeling of shock. This can manifest itself in ways such as depression, denial, anger and withdrawal. The Death Doula teaches the family the importance of listening and asking the patient what they need the most. This offers the patient some “control” over the situation. This can be in the form of food choices, places to rest and which family members and friends can come to visit. It is most important during this phase that the patient begins to resolve any negative issues with friends and family to insure a peaceful death. Giving and receiving forgiveness during this phase is crucial.
The second phase, “Stabilization”, is when pain is under control and any acute issues have been addressed. When things are stable, conversations can be had and goodbyes can be said. Patients often do a “Life Review”. Caregivers are instructed to be good listeners during this phase in particular.
The third and last phase, the “Transition Phase” is the time right before a person dies. It is the transition from this world to the next. The body begins to shut down. The patient eats less, (may lose their ability or desire to eat) sleeps a great deal and has temperature, breathing and skin color changes. Death Doulas teach families how to deal with these changes. Giving permission for the dying person to say goodbye is important. Playing the patient’s favorite or soft music, dimming the lights, talking softly and providing a gentle touch (human or pet) creates a beautiful loving space for the transition.
Due to the unprecedented rise in the elderly population both in the United States and globally, there is now overwhelming demand for these services and support that is only projected to grow over the next several decades. To learn more about caring for a dying loved one or to obtain information on how to become a Death Doula, visit the website Doulagivers.com